


this is a war

by drown (orphan_account)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, YOLO, i just decided to repost, i kind of had to add on so, mostly its just ashton being a little shit, sorry ryryy, this took too long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 02:54:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1882392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/drown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ashton knows that loss has blue eyes and blonde hair and hands that are warm on his skin. </p><p>(aka ashton is jealous of everyone who touches luke)</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is a war

**Author's Note:**

> i fINALLY FINISHED IT.  
> everyone knows (or should know) that i've got a huge thing for jealous!ashton  
> and this took forever to finish  
> and there is a gratuitous smut scene but who cares  
> and also the last scene is kind of inspired by [that one photo that ashton took of luke](https://twitter.com/Ashton5SOS/status/479292442273783809)!!!!! but obv there's no like romantic picture-taking or anything u know

"y’know…" the moment it slips out of luke’s mouth, ashton knows he’s going to hear something he really doesn’t want to. "i think it _is_ you, calum.”

and honestly, it’s such an insignificant question in such an insignificant interview, but for some reason it seems like so much more when ashton’s been worrying over this for days, over what the hell luke is doing fooling around with him when calum’s there, lovely and bright and someone luke could love.

"yeah, but you pick calum for everything," michael interjects. ashton fidgets, stares blankly, tries to act like something’s not just wilted inside him, in the pit of his stomach and at the bottom of his heart. so he’s not the only one who’s noticed?

"maybe you’re in love with calum," he pipes up, too bold, a warning in his eyes that he doesn’t feel inside him —- he thinks at this point he should just let luke go. and when luke flashes him a stupid, shit-eating grin, a stupid shit-eating grin that he hates in that moment, ash doesn’t feel hurt but anger.

"maybe i am."

it’s a flare-up of emotion, boiling red-hot through his veins. “maybe i am,” ashton mocks, forcing a laugh through stiff lips, giving in to the tightness in his chest.

—

he’s so mad. he’s so mad his chest heaves with it, his fists clenched tightly and his arms knotted, one over the other, forearms straining, veins pushing to the surface of his skin like he physically has to hold his blood in before it shatters him with the force of its rage.

ashton lifts his eyes to luke’s, glaring from beneath his eyelashes. because of him, because of that stupid kid with his stupid blond hair and his stupid blue eyes and the lip ring he can still feel pressing cold and firm into the jut of his hipbones, he hasn’t been able to sleep.

it’s hard to keep himself from being jealous; every time he closes his eyes all he can think about is luke tangled in calum, calum tasting luke, the two boys together under sheets sharing secrets and smiles and that makes his heart hurt so, so bad, but it also pisses him off a hell of a lot. 

not only does he want to replace himself with calum in every damn picture they’ve taken together, but he also wants to slam luke into a wall and fuck him so hard that he can feel ash’s jealousy ricocheting through his own bones and kiss him til all he can think is ashton, ashton, ashton.

—

four days and ashton still hasn’t been able to rinse the smell of luke from his bedsheets. 

_maybe you’re in love with calum._

maybe i am.

it doesn’t faze him that he’s come to realize that he’s in love with luke. 

it fazes him that he’s come to realize that luke isn’t in love with him.

—

jealousy isn’t big and green and dripping with some corrosive waste and crumbling him from the inside out. jealousy is curled up in his bone marrow and his nerve-endings, whispering to him in the moments he and luke glance at each other that it’s nothing, it’s fake, look at how he’s looking at calum now, calum’s worth more.

jealousy has wound itself around him tight and won’t let him out of its grasp no matter how hard he strains and struggles.

goddamnit.

—

before now, ashton had never thought he could feel tension on the air but now it’s nearly tangible, something he tastes on his tongue, sharp and bitter and like something he’d let go of too easy. it’s because he and luke are alone for the first time in literal days. there’s no way luke hasn’t noticed ashton’s slow distancing, but ash thinks that he’s found a way to comfort himself.

(with calum. under sheets. skin on skin.)

"hey."

luke startles him out of his hazy reverie and manages to make him jump a bit, his leg bouncing anxiously. luke worries his teeth over that damn piercing of his and ashton draws in a short breath, forcing a smile.

"yeah?"

"oh, it speaks."

ash glares and tilts his chin, watching the floor instead. thinking about how he wants to pin luke down there, into the carpet.

"yeah."

"you gonna say something else?"

"what do you want me to say, luke?"

it comes out more snappish than he’d intended, and luke recoils like he’s been struck, his angel-eyes big and hurt.

"nothing. sorry. just missed you, s’all."

—

"ashton."

"what?"

"i’m sorry, okay?"

luke’s figured out what’s making ash tick. he’d noted the way ash’s fingers would clench when calum would brush teasing hands over luke’s waist. the muscle in his jaw, flexing hard just before he’d look away quick.

luke knows ashton better than ashton knows himself.

"okay."

god, and luke knows that ashton’s the most frustrating prick he’s ever met.

ashton’s mad again. he grits his teeth. swallows hard. his throat bobs and luke’s eyes sink there. he wants to dig his teeth into that spot.

there’s a long, heavy silence, it sits on their shoulders until ashton can’t take the weight of it anymore and whirls to luke, curled up pitifully at the other end of this long couch they’ve exiled themselves to.

"why do you pretend to care anymore?" he asks, practically fuming. before luke can object, ashton’s launching himself over the space between them, palms closing on the sides of luke’s neck. their knees jam together painfully but then ash is kissing him, kissing him angry and hard and needy, and luke gasps, unfurls his lanky legs and throws an arm around ashton’s shoulders.

"ash, i-" he starts against ash’s lips, but he’s silenced by the way ashton licks into his mouth, teases him for a moment and then dives to his throat, sucking hard at the pale skin. luke gasps, tosses his head, squeezes his eyes shut with a whimper.

"you want calum," ashton growls out, muffled and raw, and luke just shakes his head, hasty to deny it, too busy clawing ashton’s shirtsleeves down and carving indents into his skin from the ferocity of —- whatever it is ashton’s doing to him.

"i want you," he manages, and ashton swallows the words himself with another long, urgent kiss, wrenching luke’s legs apart as he slides down and lets himself succumb to the dominating force that, at that moment, is ashton. "just you, please, please.”

it’s been too long, and ashton moans as he snakes his hands beneath luke’s shirt, sweeps it up and off him and presses hot, open-mouthed kisses over the sharp lines of his collarbones and the smooth slope of his chest. 

and ashton’s lost in the excitement of it all, lost because he’s still so fucking pissed that luke loves calum and not him, lost because he needs him and he needs to have him and not just now but always —- 

"lukey-" 

it’s broken, that haze shatters around them at calum’s cheerful —- and then surprised —- call.

"shit," calum says quickly, backing out as luke scrambles to get his shirt back on and clamps his legs shut again, looking guilty like he’s been caught doing something wrong.

(they’re wrong. ashton knows they’re wrong. it just hurts that luke agrees.)

"i’m sorry," ash chokes out, feeling his throat burn as he lifts himself off the couch, rubs the back of his hand over his lips like he could take away any trace of stupid luke hemmings, and practically flees.

\--

no one remembers the last time ashton irwin cried, because ashton irwin doesn’t cry, but that’s kind of what he wants to do right now.

since he’d left luke in the dressing room with calum and a giant boner, it’s like their roles have switched. ash wants to kiss and make up, but luke won’t even fucking look at him and every time their eye contact breaks, it makes his throat sting. 

especially because now it’s starting to look like he’s going for michael.

and ashton wonders if he’s ever going to be good enough for luke. if he’s ever going to have to stop competing with the others. maybe he’s just too selfish. maybe he needs to stop being a possessive bitch.

but at this moment luke’s got his arms slung around michael while ashton is right there and he swallows hard, looks away, forces a smile. 

he’s fucked things up for good, hasn’t he?

—

progress comes when ashton is curled up in his bed while calum, luke, and michael are curled up with each other in one of their hotel rooms. the silence has lasted for very nearly two weeks now, and it’s pressing. he wants to know how long they can hold out before luke decides he’s done having to be chained to someone stupid like ash.

(he’s only like this because he loves him, but he realized too late that that’s a fucked up way of thinking.)

he keeps glancing over and he catches luke doing the same about the fifth time he tries to take in that face and those broad shoulders and he kind of clears his throat, feeling his cheeks heat, and slides down beneath the covers, turning over and folding his legs up near his chest.

almost an hour later, after ashton’s finally stopped tossing and turning, he feels the side of the bed dip a little, and there’s warmth on his spine, arms over his waist, a careful mouth pressed into the wispy curls at the nape of his neck.

in his half-conscious stupor, ashton smiles.

—

in the morning, luke’s not there and the only evidence that he ever was is the smell of him like spicy cologne and soap on the opposite side of the bed. and fuck if ashton doesn’t lie there for an extra few minutes just inhaling with his head buried into the pillow.

he’s actually a little happier when he traipses out and follows the others into the elevator and it seems like today’s going to be good because luke looks up and gives him a small, kind of awkward, kind of hopeful half-smile that he returns, but it falls when michael wraps his arms around luke and nuzzles into his neck.

ash looks away, pretends he’s not there, wants to disappear into the corner.

whatever.

—

he doesn’t really know why he doesn’t confront luke. he doesn’t know why he just doesn’t prove that luke’s his, not calum’s, not michael’s, why he doesn’t suck lovebites into the pale skin of his neck and his thighs and whisper into his mouth that he loves him.

maybe it’s because he just doesn’t want to hear that luke doesn’t feel the same, that luke is glad there’s distance between them. even if ash is fairly convinced he already knows that’s the truth.

the day is a flurry of press and more anger and more hurt over something that ash could very easily change. he feels like something inside him is swelling, taking him over, like some kind of shadow engulfing his bones every time he looks at luke.

looks at luke smiling, happy.

without him.

—

no one’s blind to the tension that’s slowly mounting, with ashton on one side and the rest of them on the other. and so, when michael and calum hurry out of “lashton’s” hotel room together once ash comes out of the shower, he’s pretty sure it’s on purpose.

but it leaves him and luke sort of staring each other down in discomfort until ash turns and clomps away to get dressed. he feels hot knowing luke is looking at him. 

when he returns, luke’s brushing his fingers thoughtfully over a fading purple mark just on his collarbone that’s been covered with the sweaters he’s been wearing.

it might be some kind of sudden confidence that has ash sauntering over and seating himself next to him. like, actually next to him, not on the very end of the sofa. they haven’t been this close in… a while.

luke swallows audibly, and ash feels his gaze like it’s burning through the side of his head.

"how’re you?" he asks, a husky note to his voice that makes ashton nervous.

"good. i’m- good."

—

okay, so, they’re kind of improving. still skirting around each other. ashton’s started a mental tally of the number of times luke’s glanced at him wistfully.

he’s still pissed. he thinks luke needs to be taught a lesson, so he keeps ignoring him until he thinks he can’t take it anymore.

that happens in their next hotel room. luke’s got nothing on but a towel wrapped low around his hips, and ashton’s eyes follow a drop of water that dribbles from his shoulder, down his abdomen, soaking into the fabric. 

god, he wants to follow that line with his tongue.

he takes a deep breath, and luke looks a little more than shy.

"um, d’you have any underwear i could borrow?"

ashton gives him a dry look. “you don’t usually ask.”

"… i know. but. i thought i would. this time."

his words are stilted, but this time, it seems like he’s actually having trouble choking them out rather than just trying to swallow them. is ashton really being that obvious?

they stare at each other for a few more seconds before ashton lifts himself and pads over, nodding almost to himself. he doesn’t go to his luggage, though, he walks until he’s stopped right in front of luke, until he can feel the heat radiating off of him, until he has to tip his chin back in the slightest to catch his eyes.

"do you want calum?" he asks, and luke frowns deep, not even looking surprised at the sudden question.

"n-no." he actually stutters and ashton smirks, just a bit.

"… does he want you?"

"i-i don’t know."

"do i have to show him that he can’t have you?"

luke’s eyes widen a fraction, and he nods in response, almost automatically, his teeth scraping over his lip ring again almost nervously.

"what was that?" ashton urges, reaching out, running his fingers along the folds of the towel luke is still wearing and then moving them up until he can thread them tightly through his damp golden hair.

"yeah," he says softly, looking down. ash usually bottoms, because he likes the way luke can cover him completely, but that’s clearly not happening this time. "… yes. i-i think you do."

ash hooks his fingertips into the knot at the top of the towel and tugs, leaving it pooled on the ground and luke big and strong and naked in front of him, and he licks his lips, glancing back up to catch those suddenly shy blue eyes.

"ashton," luke mumbles, just as ash lifts up and pushes his hands into luke’s hair and brushes his lips over his.

"what?"

"…i’m sorry f-for… the whole thing with calum," he breathes out, ducking a fraction closer, kissing him hard. "i’m sorry. fuck me? i’ll be good."

and, like, even though ashton's expecting it, hearing that out of luke doesn't fail to shock him. ashton freezes.

he thinks he probably shouldn't feel as pinned as he does beneath that chilling cyan stare, as innocent as the expression luke's wearing is. he might have an epiphany then, some kind of revelation like - _oh, yeah, i've been a total dick for literally no fucking reason, i've probably lost this boy who didn't love me but could've._ because, you know, even though luke is right there, right in front of him, with his fingertips brushing along the roughness of ashton's jawline and his mouth ghosting along his, he still feels lost, unreachable.

(at this point he's probably just being stubborn, but all he can think of is the hurt in luke's voice and the way for the last few weeks it'd always been calum, just calum.) 

pulling away even though he doesn't want to, ashton swallows hard, presses his thumb just under luke's jawline where he can feel the erratic throb of his pulse, replaces his thumb with his mouth after a second. "alright, then," he says into luke's skin, because it's easier to agree when he doesn't have to see the way luke's looking at him; apologetic, needy, wanting. he nips his teeth into the spot and his palms slide over the hard curve of luke's ribcage, fingertips brushing over the dip of his sternum, then lower, lower until his fingers kiss feather-light at his thigh, drawing a shudder out of him. 

"hey, ash," luke says, quiet still like if he speaks too loud, whatever this is between them will fracture. ashton pulls himself from luke's neck with an obscenely wet smack, curious now. "you hold a grudge like a bitch." 

and ashton can only laugh, can only let his shoulders drop and can only stretch up to drag luke into a searing kiss, licking into his mouth and letting his hands fist around the back of his neck. "yeah, i know," he says absently after a few moments too long, and they're back to kissing, luke pulling ashton up against him tight, rucking up his shirt, sucking desperately on his tongue. they start to sway and then they're stumbling back, ashton grabbing at luke's sides, pulling in a sharp, short breath and nipping at his swollen lower lip. 

"get on the bed," he murmurs, although he only wrenches his mouth away from luke to latch onto his collarbone, sucking in heavy bruises, working at the skin with tongue and teeth until luke staggers away with a gasp and sinks onto the bed, settling back. his legs splay lightly, and ash can't help but let one side of his mouth curve in a satisfied half-smile. he strips his shirt over his head, lets luke follow the lines of his defined torso and his arms and the juts of his bones until he clambers over him --- unfortunately ungraceful --- and lowers his head, nipping at luke's earlobe. "you look so good like this, y'know. so good." 

"just for you, it's- 'm just for you," luke manages, stalling halfway to keen softly when ashton squirms down to rake his teeth over his nipple, then laps at the reddening skin, sucks hard, sends jolts of stinging pain that just makes luke arch and push further against his mouth. 

"what was that, lukey?" ash asks, soft as he switches to the other side, reaches down to slide his palm too teasingly up luke's half-hard cock. 

"it's just- i'm just yours." luke pauses, biting his lip hard, squeezing his eyes shut as ashton wraps his fingers lightly around the length of him and strokes gently, too slow, too soft, just enough to make him snap his hips forward. "i'm yours." 

the way luke repeats it --- firm, like he wants to taste the words forever on the back of his throat --- makes ashton's breath catch, just for a moment, because he's never felt like he's _had_ luke. he's had bits and pieces of him, parts he kept hidden away for fear that they'd be forgotten otherwise, but he only just comes to the realization that luke _is_ his, now more than ever. of course, in response, ash sighs, squeezes at the base of him before he squirms down. 

luke's eyes are wide, wide, wide because ashton's never given him head, it's only ever been the other way around but he forgets that when ash rubs his thumb under the head of him and then mouths at the side of his cock. ashton flickers a glance up at him and luke thinks he might be smiling, but that doesn't matter so much when he lifts up and sucks him down, popping off after just a second and darting his tongue out along the crown of him, then licking up from base to tip, still jerking him off and all of it is so good, hot and wet and smooth but it's not _enough_. luke gasps, whines, shifts against ashton's grip and thrusts up almost involuntarily when ash sinks his mouth down his shaft again. 

"f-fuck, ash," he whimpers, "fuck." ashton sinks down, further, reveling in the wonderful stretch of his jaw and the way his throat relaxes and how luke lets out a choked noise, grinds his hips up, rocks against the flat of ashton's tongue pressed at the base of him. "feels good, feels- so good, fuck, ash, please." he's babbling now, mindless, feeling equal parts filthy and ecstatic, clawing into the sheets as ashton pumps his hand, wet with his own saliva, twists until luke's throwing his head back, sucks him down and moans when he feels a tight grasp on his hair, pulling, pulling. he burns, hot and fierce and lust hums underneath his skin and fuck, fuck, luke's just thrusting up, needy and urgent as ashton laps at the turgid head of his cock. 

and he pulls off just as luke's whimpers grow higher, tears beading at the corners of his eyes and spit gathered just below his lip, breath coming fast --- ashton's wrecked just on the thought of wrecking luke like this. "did you let calum touch you like this?" he asks, hand still wrapped tight around luke's cock, sliding slow and giving him just enough to rut into. when he doesn't get an answer, ash crawls back up, yanks at luke's chin until he's looking straight at him. 

(luke thinks ashton still looks like the sun, still looks blazing and fierce and burning bright and he just wants him _so bad_ , doesn't want calum, doesn't want michael, just _ashton, ashton, ashton_.) 

"no," he rasps, struggling up so he can peck at ashton's mouth, just because he needs to touch him, needs something, anything. "no, only you. please t-touch me." 

ashton grins, reaches up and tugs at luke's hair, sidles away. luke whines pathetically, reaching down to touch himself until ash comes back with lube and a condom, completely naked, and slaps his wrist away hard. "you're only gonna come when i'm inside you." and, fuck, that sounds like the best way to come so luke keeps his arms dutifully at his sides, lets ashton pull his knees apart and watches hungrily as he slicks up his fingers. and then he's nudging a fingertip up against luke's rim and luke gasps, reaches out and digs his fingers into ashton's thigh and swallows hard as he pushes into him, pumps gently and luke feels out of control, out of body just with ash's one finger or maybe it's just ash, there, _his_. 

"more?" luke sighs, and ash pushes his middle finger past too, crooks them as he flicks his wrist and bends to pepper soft kisses along luke's chest as he does. 

"feel good, lukey?" 

he nods, but frowns petulantly --- that drops when ashton rubs up against his prostate and draws a quick gasp out of him. "i want your _dick_ ," he manages, pouting, losing his breath again, reaching down and dragging ash up to him for a long, sloppy kiss, teeth clipping and noses knocking but it doesn't matter, doesn't matter because luke's pressing into him and ash has got a hand on luke's cock and it's all so _good_. 

ashton breaks away, lifts up onto his knees and shifts forward until he's straddling luke's waist, lets him watch as he wanks, hovering just out of reach. he tips his chin, chews on his lip and swipes the pre-come off his slit, smiling when luke strains and locks his mouth over his dirtied thumb, even hollows his cheeks as he sucks at it, dips forward. and as much as ash wants to press his cock up into that mouth, let luke blow him like he knows he wants to --- he's also not had him in way too long so he pulls away, settles down and over him. 

with luke's legs slung up over his hips, ashton drizzles the last of the lube into his palm, strokes himself a few times, rolls the condom on and then he's _slamming_ into him, eliciting a broken sort of cry and a gasp. luke is warm and tight and ashton feels like he's going up in flames, feels like there's something warm and hazy in his mind. he drags out slow, and luke blinks up at him all ocean-eyes and innocence that's ruined by his dirty moan when ashton snaps forward again, and then he's hauling luke's hips up for a different angle and fucking into him, hard and fast and luke's skin heats, burns, he feels achy and stretched and so fucking full, full of ashton, and when he throws his head back ash leans over him to suck hard kisses into the curving tendon. ash pounds into him, fucks him ruthless and he just wants to find a way beneath luke's skin, wants to remove every trace of calum and michael and leave himself there instead, so he takes him rough and takes him sloppy and murmurs senseless obscenities into his ear that make him gasp prettily and claw his short nails into ashton's back. 

"ashton, ashton," luke pants, like it's the only thing he can say, his voice raw and hoarse and the bed's squeaking a little under them, and ashton's taking a hold of his cock and pumping him slowly in contrast to the way he's absolutely driving into him. his muscles are ablaze, and then ash kisses him, scorching, needy, all tongue and spit and desire, irreverent and fuck, fuck, there's something tight and coiled inside luke that feels like it's coming apart as ashton rams forward, wrings his palm on luke's cock and he cries, a wrangled sob splitting from him as he comes, teeth gritting, spurting ribbons of white down his own stomach and chest. 

and the way he convulses, completely comes apart at the seams, gives himself over wholly is enough to make ashton slam forward raggedly a few more times and then he goes rigid, comes with a delirious "i love you, fuck, i love you so much," that has them both losing their breath all over again. 

— 

they don't talk about it, of course. they go on as if it never happened, cuddle the rest of the night, tuck kisses behind ears and on cheeks and let their bright eyes speak for them. it's the happiest ashton's felt in ages, but it also feels like there's something heavy hanging over them --- a different kind of heaviness. expectant, now, a tension that's got them both pulled taut. 

as far as everyone else knows, they're okay now. they're lukeandashton, immersed in one another. 

— 

los angeles is --- is something that ashton could get used to. he's always loved cities, he's always loved knowing he can just be a background character in someone else's grand tale, he's always loved standing on the edge of bridges right by the suicide hotline signs and staring into murky waters and waving at boats and people who never notice. he loves sitting on curbs, watching secondhand smoke drift and curl into a sky that takes the poison with open arms. 

los angeles is nothing like home (he's not sure what home is, but he's always thought it might be sydney or maybe london, london where he fell in love, where he made something of himself) but it's magnificent in its own way, all spiking teeth, boulevards, concrete in backyards. 

the night changes it; the night changes every city. now it's bright, brighter than it could ever be in the day, and luke's face is illuminated by the stories of the million people below them, a million stories they don't know. everything is so big and ashton is so small but here, next to this boy, he feels anything but. 

michael and calum had said it was cold (it's not) and opted to stay in but ash thinks they just don't want to deal with the two mushy lovers, don't want to watch them get lost in each other like they do too much. 

"it's so big." luke's voice breaks him out of his thoughts, and ashton cracks a grin. 

"yeah, yeah, save it for the bedroom, babe." 

luke rolls his eyes. "ever looked out and, like, thought you could just --- get lost in it?" 

"are you trying to be deep? it's kinda ruined by the fact that we were lost just like, two hours ago-" 

"we weren't lost!" luke squawks indignantly. "i knew where we were going." 

"only 'cause some old lady took pity on your giant giraffe arse and helped us out." 

"no, but, really --- i mean, there're just... there's so much. and we're just fuckin' kids with some instruments. aren't you scared of being, like, forgotten?" 

it makes him falter, because, yeah, ashton knows the sting of that. knows the hollowness in his bones. knows how to become a home to silences and things you'd sweep under the rug. he inhales sharp night air, smells the faint acrid burn of cigarette smoke. smiles. "nothing's forever, lukey." and that's cheesy, so he wrinkles his nose. 

"cheesy." 

"yeah. but, like, yeah. i guess. everything's gonna- well. we'll be left in bits and pieces, i guess, but eventually, y'know, everything fades? some arsehole was standing right here, like, a thousand years ago, and no one gives a shit about him anymore i'll bet." 

"someone might." 

ashton raises a brow. "you're hopeless." 

"sorry, i've not yet gotten around to channeling my inner cynical old man yet." 

"are you calling me old?" 

"...no." 

"you are!" 

ashton surges at him and luke laughs as he's knocked nearly off his feet by this lanky stick of a boy, leans happily into the onslaught of soft face kisses he gets. wraps his arms tight over ash's shoulders and smiles at the comforting pressure around his waist. 

"i love you," ashton says, and it slips easy off his tongue, wraps itself into the fabric of luke's sweater. luke grins. 

"i thought you were gonna make it deep and romantic and shit like that." 

"don't fucking swear, lucas." ash pokes his tongue out at him, licks at his jaw and laughs when luke grumbles at him and wipes the slobber away with his sleeve. "you thought about how i'd tell you i love you?" he doesn't know why he waited this long to say it. it's not hard at all. makes his chest feel loose, makes him feel like he's bold and shining like one of the lights studding the skyline. 

(that's cheesy.) 

"i mean, i guess you ruined any hopes of it being totally big and dramatic," luke starts, jumping when ashton smacks him in the shoulder. "wow. jesus. you're rude." 

"am not." 

"rude and small." 

"say it back. fucking meanie." 

luke snorts. "you can't say meanie after you swear. that's so-" 

"say it back," ash whines, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, kissing frantically at luke's jaw and setting big, dewy hazel eyes on him. luke grins. 

"yeah, okay. love you too." 

he thinks he hears calum yelling in delight, but he doesn't turn around to look.


End file.
